How to Tell the Children

Here are some suggestions on what - and when - to tell your children about your break-up. Tell the children about the separation only when you have made clear plans about what will be happening to them.

Tell your children with both parents together, if you can.

Pick a time and place where there will be no distractions or interruptions.

It may help to tell all your children at the same time, rather than separately, so they can provide support to one another.

Discuss your future living arrangements. Tell them they will be loved in two homes now, if that is going to be the arrangement.

Talk about their particular needs such as friends, toys, and school.

Allow your children to show grief and sadness and invite them to talk it out, draw it out, write it out, or cry it out.

Guiding Your Child Through the Separation Process